The Introverse Annex

thejohnallele @ 2008-06-02T22:11:00

2008-06-03T05:12:14Z

"The Orgasmic Mind" is a really, really intriguing article. I kept trying to skim it, and having to go back because yet another tidbit caught my attention.

thejohnallele @ 2008-05-17T02:29:00

2008-05-17T09:34:55Z

Just to get this out there:

I have not been blogging because I've been struggling to figure out what exactly it is that I want to say. Life has been up and down like a yo-yo lately... well, emotionally, anyway. Physically and financially, it's been plodding along uneventfully, and I suppose in that regard, no news is at least not bad news. Seattle is still fantastic, and Courtney and I are okay, but I'm starting to realize that it's about time I figured out, if not my eventual destination, then at least what direction I'm going to take setting out in my "real" life. Consequently, I've been holding off on the rageblogging and the self-absorbed rambling.

I hope everyone well. I've been trying to keep up with the haps, and I appreciate you all.

That is all. I will be back.

thejohnallele @ 2008-04-28T21:06:00

2008-04-29T04:23:36Z

So we've recently become members of the Center for Sex-Positive Culture.

Much to my surprise, certain of my friends who do not live in Seattle actually already knew about this place. For the rest of you... well, I'll let you draw your own conclusions. So far I'm pretty excited about this - who wouldn't be, right?

But I'm actually excited about the educational and social aspects, not the sex club part. Or, well, not just the sex club part.

It's a little heavy on the BDSM stuff for my tastes anyway.

I really think that this is the kind of place almost anyone who was even a little open-minded could get into. It's not a swing club in the traditional sense at all... events always have socials beforehand, and there are plenty of educational happenings. It even has a library - a real library! You can bet ladyeep's thrilled about that. She's considering doing her MLS internship there.

I guess we'll see how it goes. I'm quite passionate about sex-positive culture and sex education, not just using it as a cover story to be a libertine; it's more important to me to be able meet people and talk about things than to do new people. I suppose I'll be disappointed if folks only want to talk about riding crops and hot wax, and not the deplorable state of sex education in American schools, but either way I guess I really like the idea of the Center.

I may or may not be chronicling exciting times at the club as time goes on; it's a "the first rule is that you don't talk about, etc." sort of a situation, to protect people's privacy, so I guess it'll depend on how heavily anonymized I care to make my writing, and whether responses to this are generally positive, "Eww, keep it to yourself, pervert," or dead silence.

Incidentally, as members, we are allowed to bring guests, and the guest policy is fairly generous, so intrigued visitors take note.

You got a video

2008-04-18T04:10:24Z

Okay, you know what? I don't care that Amanda just posted this. You all get to watch it again, because you should. Thanks, Discovery Channel; I can't remember the last time something made me this happy.

WATCH IT. SING IT.

thejohnallele @ 2008-04-17T08:22:00

2008-04-17T15:29:11Z

I am sorry, in a general sense, to have been so absent lately. I doubt many folks on LJ will have known the difference, since I don't think many of my local friends and acquaintances read it, but the fact is that both Courtney and myself have been depressed, enervated, and completely withdrawn for a couple weeks now. Apart from a brief excursion to the Green Festival, neither one of us has done much of anything outside home and work this month.

I know that's not good for anyone; all introspection and no life makes John a pain in the ass. I can't speak for Courtney, but for me, well, I don't really know the name of this new breed of noonday demon.

Anyway, that's it. I wanted to let anyone who had wondered know that, yes, I do still like you, and no, I'm not upset or just being a dick. Well, not intentionally, anyway. See you soon, hopefully?

Coming out

2008-04-11T02:16:53Z

I'm going to start off this post with a little information about this post. This is important. No, I'm not gay.

It is an easy thing today for people to get too much information. Perhaps you Google something that happens to be named similarly to an unfortunate fetish; perhaps your friend tells you about his nether grooming habits; perhaps a prospective employer finds your blog; whatever the case, we are all bombarded with things we might rather not know about the people around us. Here's my take on that:

There is no such goddamn thing as too much information.

Really, there isn't. Give it some thought. You may have some personal hangups about sex, or about religion, or about whatever, but is ignorance really any better, ever? I say it is not. I say that while there may occasionally be call for some secrecy - always temporary - there is never such a thing as too much information. Information is what separates humans from inanimate objects. Information is what lifted us out of the ordinary struggle of evolution and made us more. Information is what crowns us, and what destroys us, and what makes our lives worth caring about. Everything you know, even the things you assume so deeply you don't think you know them, is information. The very genes that encode you are information. You are information, a self-sustaining continuous reaction.

That said, our society seems to have become shit-scared of certain types of information, and I think that's crap. People ought to be free to live their lives however they damn well please within the rules set up by society to give us the maximum possible protection of our basic rights. People ought not fear reprisal for things that are their own private business. Making this so will require normalizing information that might today be considered "TMI," and so what I'm going to do is tell you too goddamn much information. I encourage everyone to do this, but I'm certainly not going to twist your collective arm. All I can say is that, in addition to supporting a good cause, it will be cathartic. Like Confession, only with pride instead of guilt, and with the Internet instead of a priest, and with you actually caring instead of just doing it because that's what you think you're supposed to do.

My hope is that you'll start reading this with that "internet trainwreck" mentality, where you just can't look away, and you finish reading it inspired to live your own life more openly and honestly. That's ambitious, but all I can do is try. If you're not ready for open talk about sex and religion, well, don't read this; I don't know what to tell you other than that you probably won't take anything away until you're ready to do this yourself.

I'll warn you now that this is liable to make you uncomfortable. You'll get over it. "Uncomfortable" never hurt anybody. I'll also warn you - those unlikely few of you to read this that aren't my friends - that trying to use any of this against me will get you soundly laughed at and not much else. If you're a prospective employer, well, what the crap are you doing here, anyway, you friggin' snoop? Mind your own damn business, as per federal anti-discrimination law.

So, here we are. You ready? Like I said, you do NOT have to do this. I want this information to be available and open, not to cram it down anyone's throat.

I am sex-positive, kinky, and unashamed. Okay, I'm actually only mildly kinky; I like buttplugs and nonmonogamy and I'm slightly curious about other guys - but only in terms of sex, really, because while I'm a horny bastard, I'm just not really attracted to men, just... curious. I am intrigued by the idea of having my fiance fuck me with a strap-on. I have nothing but pity for people whose sexuality is an object of shame for them - for the homophobes and the vanilla couples and the cheaters who wreck their own lives and the lives of others because they're afraid to ask for what they need. My life was changed in this regard a couple of times: once painfully, when my girlfriend cheated on me and nearly wrecked my mind, and once when I began to listen to some sex-positive media and see that information could really make sex better. My life was changed hugely by the podcast Sex is Fun, and I encourage you all to go listen to it NOW. You may think that's an idle challenge, but it's not; you will not regret it, ever, for a second.

I have been discussing with my fiance the prospect of an open relationship, or polyamory, or swinging - and yes, those three things are all quite different. She wants two guys at once and I am totally behind that fantasy. I am unashamed by my defiance of the traditional monogamous relationship. This is not "experimentation," but rather a deliberate exploration of how openness can improve my life. (There are certain of our friends that I have contemplated, for some time, inviting to swap with us. If you're worried that you might be one of them, by all means contact me so I can set your mind at ease, or, alternately, creep you out somewhat... or possibly please you? I don't know.) By the way, I suggest the blog We Sleep Together if you're curious about this kind of issue. It's a fun read.

I am an atheist, and I am angry about the way this country treats those who choose to have no religion. Apparently the idea of "religious freedom" is unclear to some people, as is, at least if the recent movie Expelled is any indication, the idea of "slander." No, Ben Stein, the fact that I am both an evolutionary scientist and an atheist does not, in fact, mean that I want to kill Jews. I don't mention this here because I think anyone will be surprised to hear it; it's not like I've been quiet about it in the past. I mention it because I want it on record, and the internet is a lot more permanent than people tend to think. I detest the focus in politics recently on candidates' faiths. I want people in politics to shut up about faith, not tout it. It's personal business, not political.

I am a utilitarian. I consider myself a moral person, or, more accurately, a person who tries to maintain a moral and ethical life, from a functional viewpoint. I do not believe there is a soul or any sort of divinity, though I do hold a Saganesque spiritual reverence for the grandeur of the universe. I do not respect other people's religions. I respect their right to have them, and I will fight to the death to defend that right, but I do not respect specific absurd beliefs. Yes, even you, reading this: I do not respect your silly faith, but, conversely, I would rather die than see you imprisoned for holding it.

I am depressed. I am not majorly depressed, but rather suffer from dysthymia, a low-grade cyclical form which saps motivation and self-worth without actually engendering self-loathing or feelings of utter hopelessness. I occasionally have doubts about this fact, and have a tendency to blame myself for the apathy and lack of success which characteristically accompany this condition. I don't want your pity or advice. Sorry, but it's the truth.

I think that this confession has migrated too far into the serious and depressing, rather than the titillating, therefore I will tell you that I have had sex with one, and only one, person, and that person is my current fiance. I do not feel bad about this, because I am confident I have made the right decision, and I believe I will have opportunity in the future to experience other people. I believe this is an opportunity anyone could and should have if only they examined themselves and their values and took a hard look at why they think the things they do.

I have my suspicions that I might be divulging some or all of this information because I am an exhibitionist and simply haven't yet admitted it to myself. This prospect disturbs me greatly because I really feel like I'm trying to do the right thing.

So that's it. That's me.

Argle

2008-03-27T20:09:41Z

So as it turns out, you DO get spring break once you're grown up and working. All you need to do is break a couple ribs.

Well, not quite break ribs, precisely; more in the nature of breaking the cartilage that joins the ribs to the sternum. No, I don't really know how or why it happened; I was working out on the rowing machine like I do three or four times a week, when suddenly, BAM, chest pain and shortness of breath. Three trips to Urgent Care later, and I was diagnosed with a busted chest and sent home to recover. I am going to miss at least one week of work, because much of my job involves moving things around, and right now I can't lift or move more than five pounds without damaging myself.

The long and the short of it, though, is that this week I am stuck at home. Since there isn't much I can do when I'm restricted to a partially-reclined position and unable to lift anything significant, I am reading and playing WoW an awful lot. I'm on the Shattered Halls server, if anyone else is free.

Man, does shit happen, or what?

Cormac McCarthy is amazing.

2008-03-21T21:21:34Z

He really is. He creates stories with nothing but the roughly-stripped skeletons of sentences and they dance.

December...ism?

2008-03-15T08:51:44Z

I don't think I've mentioned how great I think the Decemberists are.

I've discovered that my tastes in what I consider my very favorite music are specific: I don't just like good, thoughtful lyrics set to good music. I like real poetry set to good music. I think the Decemberists have that, and powerfully. Don't get me wrong, that doesn't mean that every song is abstract and intellectually demanding; there are a number of ballads and a few very perversely entertaining twisted lullabies. The lyrics are often complex, though, and to really get the full benefit, instead of just having some nice music, you really do have to listen and think.

Colin Meloy's voice can take some getting used to, but once you do, it's incredibly evocative. The music is sort of folkish indie rock, with some amusing ingredients like the frequent use of an accordion. I definitely hear some Jethro Tull influence in there on many tracks (yes, sollite, I'm talking to you).

One of the things I think makes a really great band, instead of just a good band, is continuing improvement over time. A lot of acts will start strong, and then remain mediocre for the rest of their careers; other are one-hit wonders, or simply continue to get suckier with every album. Some will even polish up their musicianship and sound better even as their souls wither and their lyrics become bland and monotonous (Red Hot Chili Peppers, you might want to take note). There aren't many who actually get better with each new release. I place Bad Religion in this category - New Maps of Hell was an incredible album - and a few others who I won't list at this time. The Decemberists seem to be following this pattern; The Crane Wife, their most recent release, is pretty danged phenomenal.

So, anyway, you need to listen to the Decemberists. Go and get The Crane Wife and sit down and listen to all of it and really pay attention to the lyrics. If you are the kind of person who appreciates music as art, and not just as a saccharine soundtrack to life, you will be glad you did. And if you aren't interested in that much depth, well, they still sound pretty good.

thejohnallele @ 2008-02-16T16:41:00

2008-02-17T00:47:14Z

Hmm.

I didn't know that it had a name, but apparently the feeling that you're in over your head and highly overestimated by your peers and superiors - and that one day your luck is bound to run out - is a documented phenomenon. It's called Impostor Syndrome! I suppose it could more accurately just be called a mixture of modesty, anxiety, and a poor self-image, but it's nice to see that people can deal with it, or at least that they're trying to get a handle on it. It may not be a DSM-recognized psychiatric disorder but it's certainly both familiar and common.

Highly Unorthodox Zymurgy

2008-02-16T23:01:30Z

Ha! I'm a mad genius of beer! I'm just about to move my Absolutely Batshit Imperial Raspberry Lambic over to secondary fermentation, and while puttering around at work yesterday I was hit by another inspiration: Licorice Stout!

Now, I'm sure I'm not the first to think of this by any means, but I haven't heard anything about it elsewhere; that might be because others have thought of it, tried it, and deemed it too goddamned disgusting to exist. That is a possibility! But I also think that it has the potential to be awesome. A nice coal-black full-bodied stout with a healthy shot of molasses and some fresh anise could be really good; not too much anise, of course, or you'll end up with something that tastes like fizzy Drambuie, and I don't think anyone wants that. The only puzzler for me is figuring out whether it needs a little salt, and if so, how much.

I'll need to figure out how much molasses and anise to add before mixing it up so as not to make them overpowering. Hmm...

Okay, that's it. It must be done. Updates will come when it is ready for tasting.

Edit: I am not, as I anticipated, the first to think of this by any means. There are at least two commercial licorice brews, though both are small, undistributed, and East Coast, so I've never seen them; and a number of homebrewers have discussed the idea, though I've yet to hear any results. Still, I think I can do better!

I have seen the enemy, and he was glib

2008-02-15T05:44:34Z

So today I have chronicled an encounter with creationist representatives of the Discovery Institute on Darwin Day. It was fun! And surprisingly enough, I was quite civil! My account is quite light on details of the actual argument since I'm sure you've heard them all before.

thejohnallele @ 2008-02-11T22:27:00

2008-02-12T06:31:21Z

I am a pretty good chef. I can make most things with a reasonable expectation of delicious success. I am especially good at improvising full meals from random assortments of materials on hand.

I cannot, however, bake a damn loaf of bread to save my life. Once again I have failed at bakery.

I do not know why, unless I possess the Cursed Sourdough Culture of King Failsuckhamun. It's not just sourdough, though; I try hybrid sourdough/bread yeast loaves and they, too, simply do not rise. I am to bread what... well, whatever the opposite of Viagra is to men. Age, I guess, or perhaps Rosie O'Donnell. Yikes.

It's extra-sad, because I make delicious bread; it just won't rise, so I wind up with the equivalent of an exquisitely-flavored brick.

Sigh.

Crafting fulfillment

2008-02-11T08:37:07Z

I am, as some of you may know, a homebrewer. I make my own beer and, if you don't mind my saying so, it's quite good. Yes, I'm happy to share.

I was bottling a batch earlier this evening, and I noticed that, unusually for me lately, I did not feel a weight on my heart. I felt good. Now, that's not an alien sensation for me; unlike some unfortunate individuals that I know, I am not subject to chronic major depression. I do, however, suffer from dysthymia (dysthymic depression), a low, slow, cyclical form that essentially has the effects of sapping motivation and stifling joy. I have noticed, lately, that I tend perhaps to attribute too much to this condition, using it as a scapegoat for any negative behavioral patterns I may develop, but I digress. Suffice to say that I have been unhappy and, worse, persistently angry.

I take pride in my beer. I am meticulous. I an an artist and a scientist. I take excellent notes and I use impeccable laboratory practice, but I have an intuitive feel for my work which lets me create the recipes for delicious brews from simple hunches, rather than laborious experimentation. I'm not afraid to take chances, and they generally work out quite well. In short, I craft, not simply boil and ferment, and I enjoy it. I receive a very real sense of fulfillment when I succeed, a sense of having done something uniquely and constructively well... a sense that I am useful and talented. A bachelor's degree and a career in serial drudgery have left me generally short on those two emotional commodities.

Now, I don't think of myself as the type to give up science and go into a career so inglorious as making beer. I am a scientist; that is simply part of my identity. Good science is my contribution to the world... or it will be, if ever I can find my field and my niche. Currently, contemplating the prospect of advancing in the sciences fills me with trepidation, confusion, and a deep sense of inadequacy, and that's hard. Really hard. I'm a bit lost and a bit hopeless, so finding something in my brewing that is so simple and yet so satisfying is tempting. I could abandon my plans for grad school, scrape up some capital, and found a brewery. I could make a life of zymurgy. I suspect that, in some ways, I would even find that life satisfying.

But science has lost none of its allure for me; the brilliant joy of knowing and the wonder of discovery hang like the moon and stars, tantalizing and seemingly forever out of reach above the distant horizon that is higher education. It'll be a long damn journey and probably a hell of a lot of work even when I get there; and that's once I figure out exactly where "there" is. Still and all -- well, I don't really know. I suppose getting myself sorted out is the only way to get going. One foot in front of the other, though it be dark and drear, and eventually I'll crest this steep and weary hill and finally be able to see my way forward.

And meanwhile, I'm going to make some damned good beer, and it's going to serve in more than one way to keep my spirits up for the journey.

The Caucus-us (sorry)

2008-02-09T23:18:53Z

Caucus: accomplished!

Precinct 1289, King County, Seattle, Washington, has been pwnt by Barack Obama! And when I say "pwnt," I mean pwnt. Out of 82 people who voted in our precinct, 70 were for Obama and only 12 for Clinton.

I was literally terrified this morning that it would be the other way around, because then caucusing would have been such a profoundly negative experience for me, and I'd have had to try to give an impassioned speech to win over people to my side. As it turned out, though, everything worked out okay. No public speaking required. I'm both relieved and disappointed, because I think I probably could have done a decent job, but I would have been clenched up in cold fear the whole time. I just don't handle public speaking well.

Also fun, ladyeep and I are both alternate delegates for the second step of the caucusing. That means that we probably won't have to do anything, but we might be called on to go and represent our area at the next highest level, and there's a small chance we might even be elected to go on past that if we do go. I might have tried to be a primary delegate if I had felt like contesting one of the four slots, but I really didn't - I just didn't see any point to making a big fuss when everyone there seemed pretty passionate about doin' their thing.

For y'all in Texas, please, please vote in the primary, and caucus if you can. Depending on how things turn out, this might be the most significant political event of our lives; it certainly is the most important up 'til now.

Age rage

2008-02-07T16:49:45Z

Have you noticed that an unsettlingly large number of young people - anyone under the age of thirty, say - seem to be bitter, angry, and depressed? Sometimes it seems like more of us are than aren't. Depression has become so common, in fact, that I'm beginning to switch from accepting that it's just an increase in reported and diagnosed cases to believing that it's something more deeply and pervasively societal.
I've written a little stream-of-consciousness exploration of the subject which is rather too long to spam up your Friends page with it.

Of course, the problem's not all political, or all familial, and some folks really are biochemically borked. Some have the generational feeling of helplessness, but don't know it, or don't connect it with the issues I've discussed. The reasons for depression are as varied as the reasons people do anything. The solution, though? Well, the power of productivity and self-determination to make people happier is pretty universal, so if and when it comes, that may be more one-size-fits-all - not eliminating the problem, no, but certainly making huge statistical reduction in it. I hope so.

Foodieism

2008-02-06T05:29:46Z

[Scratch-made, 95%-hundred-mile-diet, all-fresh sourdough crust (humanely raised, free-range) chicken pot pie] + [locally-grown, healthful winter greens braised in homemade chicken broth] = damn, it feels good to be a ~~gangsta~~ chef!

Fingers: not crossed, but, uh, that's just because I'm not superstitious

2008-02-06T03:45:55Z

So: Super Fat Tuesday!

Man, I don't know if I have much to say today, except that things are looking up. I don't mean to be spiteful, but it's really good to see the Republican party so fractured and ineffectual; and Mr. Barack Obama, in whom I have (perhaps unwisely) invested so much hope, seems to be doing fairly well.

I've never made any secret of the fact that I don't like Hillary, not even back when I supported her - which wasn't all that long ago. Obama may he won me over now, but until a few weeks back, Hillary's people had me convinced that she was the way to go, unlikeable and corrupt as she may be. Now, though, I've seen the chance for... well, it sounds awfully hackneyed to cite Obama's own "change" platform here, so I won't. Still, it's nice to see a candidate with no major corporate or interest-group sponsors, for once, or at least a candidate who gets the majority of his support from individuals, not from massive interests. Hell, I'm even considering donating to the Obama campaign, marking not only the first time I've ever donated money to a political cause, but indeed the first time in my life I've felt like I had a chance to actually make a difference in supporting a political cause, and the first time I've actually liked any entity in politics enough to support it. Oh, I have my doubts about Barack, no doubt, but it's worth a shot, isn't it?

Yes indeed, things are looking up.

(By the way, don't forget to contact your representatives and tell them that if they approve Bush's final budget atrocity, you're going to lynch them. That villain is hoping to pull a few more fast ones on the nation while everyone's attention is focused on the next president, and we really, really don't need to let him get away with it. This budget proposal is so outlandish it's hard to believe it really happened, or at least it would be if my sense of disbelief hadn't been shocked into dormancy by the repeated indignities of the last eight years.)

Pork: the other gray matter

2008-02-05T04:46:05Z

Okay, I know puns on that old, busted pork-lobby advertising line have been done to death, but I couldn't resist. You see, I've had pork brains on the - well, on the brain all day.

I wrote about it in greater depth here, so if you're interested in a little immunology and epidemiology, or some social commentary, check it out. The short version is that, while I'm not a vegetarian and I don't advocate you become one, you should certainly stop eating slaughterhouse meat because modern meat raising and packing practices are abominable. I'm not just talking about the well-being of the animals, either; from start to finish, the modern meat industry is monstrous. It's bad for our environment, our economy, its own workers, consumers, and, of course, the animals.

This particular story, though, I found intriguing because of its strangeness. Apparently a new neuroinflammatory affliction has struck down a few slaughterhouse workers, and, after some puzzlement, doctors were able to trace it to accidental inhalation of aerosolized pig brains. Take a moment to read that again; I'm sure it'll take just a few seconds to really grasp it.

The pig brains are, you see, blown out of the pig heads with pressurized air, causing some of the brain matter to spray into the air, where the undertrained, underprotected, and often illegal workers are exposed to it. Since pigs and humans are close in a lot of ways, the body's natural immune response to the pig brains also happens to target the victim's own neural tissue. This results in brain inflammation and bad, bad times. Having taken a certain amount of coursework in immunology, I found the whole thing grotesquely fascinating. You probably just find it grotesque.

Another aspect that's really interesting, though, to me, is the constant, repeating tale of the unintended and almost completely unpredictable consequences of attempting to simplify or manipulate complex natural systems. I'm not saying that as a moral, mind you; I don't think that progress, particularly not scientifically-based progress, is a bad thing. I just think that overzealous application of certain aspects of progress should be tempered with both caution and a healthy dose of ethics.

And I think you should avoid slaughterhouse meat. You do not want to know what goes into your pork chop. Trust me.

On leveraging

2008-02-03T21:52:11Z

Posited: that The Decemberists are definitive proof that through talent and artistry it is entirely plausible to turn a weakness - like an unfortunate, nasal voice - into a unique strength.

Boy, they're good.

------

Seattle is weird.

We're pretty far up north here. That means that half the year, it's dark more than it's light. Right now we're moving toward getting more light, and it's still after sunset when I get off work. I don't think I'm particularly susceptible to SAD, but man, sometimes it's hard to tell. It's a bit of a downer to feel like you lose your entire day to work, since it's dark when you leave in the morning and dark when you head home in the "evening."

Now, don't get me wrong: I love this climate. It suits me perfectly. It just requires certain... adjustments. It requires an additional dimension of time management that living down south simply doesn't, namely that you have to adjust for the fact that they day seems a lot shorter (or a lot longer, in the summer) than human society wants it to be. It's a little maddening sometimes, honestly; the fact that your entire day seems to vanish can put you into a perpetual state of feeling rushed if you let it, and that can lead you to actually be rushed since you tend to slow down and do nothing whenever you get the chance. I'm really looking forward to summer, which is something I can't say I honestly ever did back in Texas.

Don't let the carping fool you, though: it's fantastic up here. From the top of the ridge, one block up from our house, there's a breathtaking view of the Olympics over Puget Sound on your left and the Cascades over Green Lake on your right. Our yard is lush and green even in winter, and our garden is going to be awesome (-ly delicious) in summer. Many of the houses around here have "Impeach Bush" signs in the windows.

It's a different kind of a place, no doubt. I think I needed that, though. I think everyone needs that for a while during their lives. You have to find where you fit. Which, you know - if anyone wants to scope out Seattle, we'll have a guest bedroom, once the landlord finishes the repairs and puts the carpet back in.

Inevitability

2008-02-03T09:53:30Z

It was, I suppose, only a matter of time before I gave in. Once I took that first dark step and created a blog, it was unavoidable that I would then, sooner or later, yield to the temptations of the modern internet and - I am so deeply ashamed - whore myself out to a site where I would actually be read and could interact with people. I have a number of friends on LiveJournal, so here, in the end, I am.

There goes all my snob cred, right down the drain. Looks like I'm human after all.

There was one thing I really hated about moving to Seattle, and that was leaving behind all the good folks I knew. I know I always probably came across as the taciturn and slightly creepily intense guy in the corner, but damned if I didn't appreciate everyone, for all that I didn't talk much. Look, here's the thing: if we exchanged more than ten words on average each time we encountered each other, I probably consider you a good friend. I don't waste much breath on people I don't like. You can take that as you will.

It's funny how I've always touted the power of the internet to keep our generation in touch and informed, and yet here I am, ten months out and completely cut off, feeling the full icy force of the Seattle Chill, the sociological phenomenon up here whereby people are very nice but do not, under any circumstances, actually want to get to know you. And, hell, even if I had made scads of friends, I'd still want to hang on to the old ones. For all that I'm liberal in attitude, I'm conservative in nature, and so it took time and real effort to get my ego over my own uplifted nose and embrace scary new technology like, you know, Livejournal.

So anyway, here I am. In touch. Sort of.

Still, if you feel like it, you can always go read my real blog at http://introverse.blogspot.com. It's better.

...

Hi. I missed y'all.