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It is an easy thing today for people to get too much information. Perhaps you Google something that happens to be named similarly to an unfortunate fetish; perhaps your friend tells you about his nether grooming habits; perhaps a prospective employer finds your blog; whatever the case, we are all bombarded with things we might rather not know about the people around us. Here's my take on that:
There is no such goddamn thing as too much information.
Really, there isn't. Give it some thought. You may have some personal hangups about sex, or about religion, or about whatever, but is ignorance really any better, ever? I say it is not. I say that while there may occasionally be call for some secrecy - always temporary - there is never such a thing as too much information. Information is what separates humans from inanimate objects. Information is what lifted us out of the ordinary struggle of evolution and made us more. Information is what crowns us, and what destroys us, and what makes our lives worth caring about. Everything you know, even the things you assume so deeply you don't think you know them, is information. The very genes that encode you are information. You are information, a self-sustaining continuous reaction.
That said, our society seems to have become shit-scared of certain types of information, and I think that's crap. People ought to be free to live their lives however they damn well please within the rules set up by society to give us the maximum possible protection of our basic rights. People ought not fear reprisal for things that are their own private business. Making this so will require normalizing information that might today be considered "TMI," and so what I'm going to do is tell you too goddamn much information. I encourage everyone to do this, but I'm certainly not going to twist your collective arm. All I can say is that, in addition to supporting a good cause, it will be cathartic. Like Confession, only with pride instead of guilt, and with the Internet instead of a priest, and with you actually caring instead of just doing it because that's what you think you're supposed to do.
My hope is that you'll start reading this with that "internet trainwreck" mentality, where you just can't look away, and you finish reading it inspired to live your own life more openly and honestly. That's ambitious, but all I can do is try. If you're not ready for open talk about sex and religion, well, don't read this; I don't know what to tell you other than that you probably won't take anything away until you're ready to do this yourself.
I'll warn you now that this is liable to make you uncomfortable. You'll get over it. "Uncomfortable" never hurt anybody. I'll also warn you - those unlikely few of you to read this that aren't my friends - that trying to use any of this against me will get you soundly laughed at and not much else. If you're a prospective employer, well, what the crap are you doing here, anyway, you friggin' snoop? Mind your own damn business, as per federal anti-discrimination law.
So, here we are. You ready? Like I said, you do NOT have to do this. I want this information to be available and open, not to cram it down anyone's throat.
I am sex-positive, kinky, and unashamed. Okay, I'm actually only mildly kinky; I like buttplugs and nonmonogamy and I'm slightly curious about other guys - but only in terms of sex, really, because while I'm a horny bastard, I'm just not really attracted to men, just... curious. I am intrigued by the idea of having my fiance fuck me with a strap-on. I have nothing but pity for people whose sexuality is an object of shame for them - for the homophobes and the vanilla couples and the cheaters who wreck their own lives and the lives of others because they're afraid to ask for what they need. My life was changed in this regard a couple of times: once painfully, when my girlfriend cheated on me and nearly wrecked my mind, and once when I began to listen to some sex-positive media and see that information could really make sex better. My life was changed hugely by the podcast Sex is Fun, and I encourage you all to go listen to it NOW. You may think that's an idle challenge, but it's not; you will not regret it, ever, for a second.
I have been discussing with my fiance the prospect of an open relationship, or polyamory, or swinging - and yes, those three things are all quite different. She wants two guys at once and I am totally behind that fantasy. I am unashamed by my defiance of the traditional monogamous relationship. This is not "experimentation," but rather a deliberate exploration of how openness can improve my life. (There are certain of our friends that I have contemplated, for some time, inviting to swap with us. If you're worried that you might be one of them, by all means contact me so I can set your mind at ease, or, alternately, creep you out somewhat... or possibly please you? I don't know.) By the way, I suggest the blog We Sleep Together if you're curious about this kind of issue. It's a fun read.
I am an atheist, and I am angry about the way this country treats those who choose to have no religion. Apparently the idea of "religious freedom" is unclear to some people, as is, at least if the recent movie Expelled is any indication, the idea of "slander." No, Ben Stein, the fact that I am both an evolutionary scientist and an atheist does not, in fact, mean that I want to kill Jews. I don't mention this here because I think anyone will be surprised to hear it; it's not like I've been quiet about it in the past. I mention it because I want it on record, and the internet is a lot more permanent than people tend to think. I detest the focus in politics recently on candidates' faiths. I want people in politics to shut up about faith, not tout it. It's personal business, not political.
I am a utilitarian. I consider myself a moral person, or, more accurately, a person who tries to maintain a moral and ethical life, from a functional viewpoint. I do not believe there is a soul or any sort of divinity, though I do hold a Saganesque spiritual reverence for the grandeur of the universe. I do not respect other people's religions. I respect their right to have them, and I will fight to the death to defend that right, but I do not respect specific absurd beliefs. Yes, even you, reading this: I do not respect your silly faith, but, conversely, I would rather die than see you imprisoned for holding it.
I am depressed. I am not majorly depressed, but rather suffer from dysthymia, a low-grade cyclical form which saps motivation and self-worth without actually engendering self-loathing or feelings of utter hopelessness. I occasionally have doubts about this fact, and have a tendency to blame myself for the apathy and lack of success which characteristically accompany this condition. I don't want your pity or advice. Sorry, but it's the truth.
I think that this confession has migrated too far into the serious and depressing, rather than the titillating, therefore I will tell you that I have had sex with one, and only one, person, and that person is my current fiance. I do not feel bad about this, because I am confident I have made the right decision, and I believe I will have opportunity in the future to experience other people. I believe this is an opportunity anyone could and should have if only they examined themselves and their values and took a hard look at why they think the things they do.
I have my suspicions that I might be divulging some or all of this information because I am an exhibitionist and simply haven't yet admitted it to myself. This prospect disturbs me greatly because I really feel like I'm trying to do the right thing.
I have been discussing with my fiance the prospect of an open relationship, or polyamory, or swinging - and yes, those three things are all quite different. She wants two guys at once and I am totally behind that fantasy. I am unashamed by my defiance of the traditional monogamous relationship. This is not "experimentation," but rather a deliberate exploration of how openness can improve my life. (There are certain of our friends that I have contemplated, for some time, inviting to swap with us. If you're worried that you might be one of them, by all means contact me so I can set your mind at ease, or, alternately, creep you out somewhat... or possibly please you? I don't know.) By the way, I suggest the blog We Sleep Together if you're curious about this kind of issue. It's a fun read.
I am an atheist, and I am angry about the way this country treats those who choose to have no religion. Apparently the idea of "religious freedom" is unclear to some people, as is, at least if the recent movie Expelled is any indication, the idea of "slander." No, Ben Stein, the fact that I am both an evolutionary scientist and an atheist does not, in fact, mean that I want to kill Jews. I don't mention this here because I think anyone will be surprised to hear it; it's not like I've been quiet about it in the past. I mention it because I want it on record, and the internet is a lot more permanent than people tend to think. I detest the focus in politics recently on candidates' faiths. I want people in politics to shut up about faith, not tout it. It's personal business, not political.
I am a utilitarian. I consider myself a moral person, or, more accurately, a person who tries to maintain a moral and ethical life, from a functional viewpoint. I do not believe there is a soul or any sort of divinity, though I do hold a Saganesque spiritual reverence for the grandeur of the universe. I do not respect other people's religions. I respect their right to have them, and I will fight to the death to defend that right, but I do not respect specific absurd beliefs. Yes, even you, reading this: I do not respect your silly faith, but, conversely, I would rather die than see you imprisoned for holding it.
I am depressed. I am not majorly depressed, but rather suffer from dysthymia, a low-grade cyclical form which saps motivation and self-worth without actually engendering self-loathing or feelings of utter hopelessness. I occasionally have doubts about this fact, and have a tendency to blame myself for the apathy and lack of success which characteristically accompany this condition. I don't want your pity or advice. Sorry, but it's the truth.
I think that this confession has migrated too far into the serious and depressing, rather than the titillating, therefore I will tell you that I have had sex with one, and only one, person, and that person is my current fiance. I do not feel bad about this, because I am confident I have made the right decision, and I believe I will have opportunity in the future to experience other people. I believe this is an opportunity anyone could and should have if only they examined themselves and their values and took a hard look at why they think the things they do.
I have my suspicions that I might be divulging some or all of this information because I am an exhibitionist and simply haven't yet admitted it to myself. This prospect disturbs me greatly because I really feel like I'm trying to do the right thing.
So that's it. That's me.
April 11 2008, 03:07:52 UTC 4 years ago
I watched the preview for Expelled because one of my coworkers kept ranting about it. I think you two would get on well actually. He's got a BA in Philosophy and spends a lot of time listening to skeptic podcasts. Anyway, Ben Stein comparing us to Nazi Germany was particularly interesting. I thought comparing anyone to Hitler meant you automatically lost the argument.
April 11 2008, 03:13:17 UTC 4 years ago
April 11 2008, 03:58:29 UTC 4 years ago
also, on that note....i too have only had sex with one person, my fiance; i suspect, and have for some time that i have a mild cyclical version of maniac depression, swinging constanly on the emotional vine; and i unabashadely and fully believe in fairies...mostly because i think my parents are fey, and i am somewhat synethesiac, no tasting colors but there are alot of internal sound effects for the motions i make to describe abstract concepts....
April 11 2008, 04:56:44 UTC 4 years ago
April 11 2008, 05:02:24 UTC 4 years ago
I have had sex with over 5 different men, but only 1 in the last 5 years. I hope to create a place for myself in the future where my partner and I are comfortable with sharing ourselves and each other in sexual situations. For me, the lead up to a first (or second, or third..) sexual encounter is generally more important and more stimulating to me than the sex act itself. I don't orgasm during sex but I feel fulfilled through the pursuit and the "acquisition" (for lack of a better term) of my partner.
I am rather sickened by my body these days. As one who grew up being extremely small I am constantly appalled and amazed by how fat I have become and seriously consider on a fairly often basis, that I should just quit eating until I get skinny again (note that I have made no move to actually carry this out). I do not feel sexy in this body and it has caused my sex life to grind nearly to a complete halt.
April 11 2008, 06:21:51 UTC 4 years ago